How to write a maid of honor speech
You were asked because you know her. The speech only has to prove that, out loud, for about four minutes.
For the other big reception speech, see how to write a best man speech, and if you are also writing vows, our guide to writing your wedding vows. Parents speaking that day can use our parent of the bride or groom speech guide.
Once you have settled the wording questions, we will help you write the words themselves.
Write your vows freeThe structure
- Who you are and how long you have known her, in one line.
- One story that shows what she is like.
- What changed when she met her partner.
- Something said directly to the two of them.
- The toast.
How long it should be
Three to five minutes, which is roughly 500 to 700 words. Time it out loud at speaking pace, not reading pace.
Choose the story that shows her, not the one that flatters you
The best line in most maid of honor speeches is a small detail nobody else in the room would have noticed. The time she rearranged her whole week for someone who never found out. The thing she says when she is nervous.
Pick the moment that shows what she is like when nothing is at stake. Skip the anecdote whose real subject is you.
Say something real about her partner
A speech that never mentions the person she is marrying is a speech about a friendship, delivered at a wedding.
Say what you noticed. Say when you knew. If you were unconvinced at first and then were won over, that is a gift of a story, as long as you tell it kindly and land it warmly.
Tone
Warm beats clever. You do not have to be funny, and trying too hard to be is the most common way these go wrong.
Leave out: exes, anything about her body, wedding planning stress, and any joke about her "finally" being married.
Nerves and delivery
Print it in large type on a card and hold it with both hands if they shake.
Slow down by about a third. Look up at the end of a line, not in the middle of one.
It is completely normal to cry. Stop, breathe, keep going. The room is entirely on your side.
Write your speech
Answer a few guided questions about her and the two of them, and get a first draft you can shape into your own words.