A wedding ceremony script for a friend officiating

Requirements vary by state and country. Check what your jurisdiction asks for: whether you need to register or be ordained, who signs the marriage license and when, whether witnesses are required, and whether any specific words must legally be said.

Ask the couple to confirm the details with whoever issues their license. Nothing here is legal advice, and getting this wrong is the one mistake that actually matters.

• Processional.
• Welcome and opening words.
• A reading, if they want one.
• A short address.
• The declaration of intent, which is the "I do" moment.
• The vows.
• The ring exchange.
• Any ritual they have chosen.
• The pronouncement.
• The kiss.
• The recessional.

Twenty to thirty minutes is typical. Shorter is usually kinder to everyone standing.

Say who you are and how you know them, briefly. Thank everyone for coming, and name anyone who could not be there if the couple has asked you to. Then set the tone in a single sentence.

For example: "We are here because two people who could have chosen anyone chose each other, on purpose, in front of all of you."

Three or four minutes, no more. One idea, illustrated by one story about the couple. Say what you have actually seen in the way they treat each other.

Resist the urge to give advice about marriage. The room is full of people who have been married longer than you have.

The declaration is the "do you take" question, answered with "I do". Ask each of them separately and use the names they actually go by.

Then the vows. If they wrote their own, cue them clearly and hand over the cards if you are holding them. If they are repeating after you, feed short lines of five to eight words and go slower than feels natural.

Say their names. Say what they are now. Then tell them explicitly to kiss, because otherwise everyone stands there waiting.

For example: "By the authority vested in me by the state of Ohio, and with the enthusiastic agreement of everybody here, it is my great pleasure to pronounce you married. Kiss each other."

Print the whole script in large type, in a folder, with the pages numbered.

Carry a spare copy of both sets of vows.

Either hold the rings yourself or give one clear person that job.

Speak into the microphone rather than to the couple's backs, and stand slightly off center so the photographs get their faces instead of yours.