How long should wedding vows be?

200 to 300 words each is the sweet spot. Under a hundred can feel abrupt unless every line earns its place, though a very short vow said well always beats a long one said badly.

Time it at speaking pace, not reading pace. Most people speak at 120 to 150 words a minute, and slower when emotional.

Your guests are standing, or sitting in the sun, in clothes they do not usually wear. Their attention is finite and you are spending it.

More importantly, so is your composure. The longer the vow, the more chances your voice has to go.

Agree on a rough length, not a script. Swapping actual drafts spoils the moment. Agreeing on "about two minutes, three or four promises" does not.

If one of you writes long and the other short, the mismatch is far more noticeable than anything either of you actually says.

Cut anything that is true of most couples. Keep anything true only of the two of you.

Cut the second example once you have already made the point.

Cut any sentence you stumble over out loud twice. That is your own mouth telling you something.

• Read them out loud at least five times. Reading silently does not prepare you for the sound of your own voice in a quiet room.
• Practice standing up, holding the card the way you will hold it on the day.
• Practice once in front of one other person, or into a recording, and listen back for your pace.
• Time every run. If you are over two minutes, cut something rather than speed up.
• Then slow down deliberately by about a third, because nerves speed everyone up.

Practice mode in VowVoice will listen while you read and give you your pace, your filler words and a few notes on delivery as soon as you finish.

• Print them on a card in large type. Not your phone.
• Give a spare copy to your officiant or your best person.
• Look at your partner between lines rather than at the card the whole way through.
• If you cry, stop and breathe. It is not a problem to be solved, and it will be somebody's favorite part of the day.